Do Not Send

Another original piece for a fiction class.

Just a quick note that these posts will be moving to Friday morning review spots after this week. You can see more on why on the Episode VI post

TO: jfcox3464@gmail.com

SUBJECT: DO NOT SEND THIS

Jeff,

So here we go, just like Dr. Halcomb ordered.

I wanted to apologize for what happened at Christmas. I’m sorry I stormed out. The kids were just trying to be nice, I know, I know. They’re good kids, really, but you must really know how much that hurt me knowing what you know now.

I am also sorry-and so is Sam-for the things he said when I walked out the door. But really, you should have guessed, when you didn’t hear a peep about our upcoming baby, when I should have been 7 months pregnant, that a crib and stroller and a giant CONGRATS sign may have been inappropriate.

I mean, I didn’t even call mom so she could ask and I could tell her that we aren’t going to find out because we don’t want our baby to be defined by gender roles before it’s even born because Sam and I are pretentious bastards at heart. And then mom didn’t call you and tell you so you two could roll your eyes together at our pretentious bastardness.

It was a girl, by the way. That mattered more to Sam than me.

Didn’t that seem weird? Not a word in over three months when I should have been announcing it all on social media and mailing baby shower invites and sending pictures of the nursery…

Then you all (minus kids) followed us to the bar where we just wanted to drown our sorrows. I’m sorry that we exploded, and you got to learn all the dirty laundry surrounding us and babies.

Like the fact that this was not supposed to be Baby No. 1 for us, or even Baby No. 2. Then we went into gory details about the bodily fluids involved in the losing of Baby No. 2 and Baby No. 3 when you just wanted us to shut up because you were already suitably chastened.

Shutting up when I’m supposed to has never been my strong point. Sorry.

You know, there was a reason we were trying to hide it in the beginning. Maybe don’t, in the future, demand to know if someone’s pregnant. We had two losses under our belt and we were feeling pretty wary. Because, not that you or anyone else would know, but it’s easier to keep it quiet and pretend you never wanted children. It sucks, and I’m sorry for the expletives I flung at you because it’s so damn easy for you to have kids.

Mostly, I’m sorry tha|

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